Being open to the promptings of the spirit!

I know that this article is going to be very controversial because whenever the topic of Gay Marriage is brought up it leads to a lot of ill feelings and vitriol. I also know that by writing this I will forever separate myself from the ‘liberal Mormon’ community ( which I do willingly because I consider myself to be a mainstream TBM in every sense of the word!) However, I am writing this article not especially to focus on my views on Gay Marriage , but to focus on how I have been influenced by the spirit since I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and how my mission experiences continued to solidify my shift away from avid supporter to strong opponent of gay marriage. I think also that with the many many prominent examples of leaders moving towards favoring Gay Marriage ( Barack Obama being the most prominent example for instance) that a counter example is quite instructive.

At the outset I want to mention one thing that I think is important to realize. Not once in the four years since I have begun to attend church has a more conservative stance on Gay Marriage ever been pushed on me. Over the months of thought, prayer and struggle, I brought the topic up with many people and had many incredible discussions with active members and I never ONCE felt pressured by them to change my view. All the pressure came internally as I tried to justify my initial strong support for gay marriage with the position of The Brethren. At first, this was the one issue of all issues that stood poised to break my testimony. Now, I have a strong testimony that the church is on track with its views on gay marriage and that marriage between a man and a women is the only marriage that is or can ever be ordained of God! What was once a week point in my faith and testimony has evolved into a strong point as my testimony has grown and as I left myself open to the promptings of the spirit.

I grew up in a pretty liberal family and as I attended school in Boston I became even more liberal especially in my social views. Gay Marriage in particular seemed to me to be a matter of equality and human rights. I had many gay friends in college and saw their relationships as beautiful and loving. Of course, at the time I had moved to a more relativistic framework and failed to see the need to judge or deem one sexual pattern right or wrong. I truly believed that people were born that way and could not be expected to change. Even more so, I was strongly opposed to ‘the religious right’ and viewed their opposition to be an inhumane attempt to push theocracy. In short, gay marriage was an issue that I felt very very strongly about.

My conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints began around September 2008 at the very height of the election season. I campaigned hard for Obama in New Hampshire and spent election day working there getting people to the polls. I remember being extremely excited as I looked on the election results. I was excited that a new president was elected who would embody change and progressive values. The one sour spot for me was the triumph of Proposition 8 which I viewed as a travesty.

At first, I was hardly aware of the Mormon connection and as I began to realize how much the church had supported the bill I was in shock. I had gained a testimony of the truth of the Gospel, but my faith in the modern day prophets and apostles was still very tentative and shaky. My first response was to think that the church must have made a major mistake and that their stance would have to change.

Yet at the same time I could NOT deny the testimony I’d received. I could at first neither understand nor accept the churches position on Gay Marriage, but I knew it was true and I had confidence that if I continued to grow in the church answers would come. As I studied abroad in London this issue was not at the forefront even though I remember having a few heated discussions with some of my friends. I read many sites and blogs on the topic and thought about it quite often.

When I came back to America the issue exploded again. I had an internship at FIRE ( The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education) and two of my co-workers ( Noah and Tim) began very extensively to criticize the church and its beliefs on gay marriage. I had just been baptized and was a brand new member. The start of that summer was a true struggle for me as I day by day listened to their attacks and felt a great deal of sympathy with what they were saying. I was truly agonized over this issue and I spoke to my bishop and branch presidency about my concerns. They were wonderfully sympathetic and I had some wonderful conversations with Brother Babbell one of the counselors. My concerns also led me to spend much time on my knees praying for answers. Yet, for weeks I didn’t find relief and I continued to be tormented by the question day after day.

Finally, one day after work I went and prayer in Love park in Philadelphia and while there received the first of a series of spiritual promptings that in time changed my understanding. At that very step, I only gained a realization of the ideal of marriage in God’s plan and an understanding that it is the preferable option. I did not at that point disagree with gay marriage in the least, but I was able to understand that heterosexual marriage was the better option.

The next week, my ward took a trip to Palmyra (which was very well timed in deed). In the Sacred Grove I took all of my concerns to the lord. There, in that sacred place in which Joseph had seen The Father and The Son I felt the spirit so strongly testify to me that I just needed to have patience and be humble and keep my heart open and that everything would work out. This was another key turning point for me. I prayed and fasted and the Lord told me to wait and gave me the patience to do so.

By the end of the summer I was able to turn my relationships with Noah and Tim into positive ones and I was able to find a greater deal of peace on the issue. Still, it continued to be a difficult one for me. In October 2009 Elder Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles came to Boston and spoke at a conference for YSA on missionary work. We had the opportunity to ask questions and I stood and asked a question about this issue. It was to me at the time an issue that bothered me so much that I even took it to an Apostle! I asked him about advice about how we could share the gospel with our gay brothers and sisters when the church stance so obviously alienated and upset them. He responded about how the church could not compromise on its stance and that he best thing to do would be to treat them with love and invite them to live up to God’s standard. At the time, this answer was a bit insufficient for me, but I was glad to know that the Brethren were aware of the importance of this issue! Someone else asked a follow up on the topic, but Elder Ballard did not say much more. I had hoped for something more. That day I walked with a member from a different state and talked quite a bit about the topic. I spoke about how my heart had been softened by the spirit in the past and how I felt led by him. I recommitted myself to continuing to be open and humble to the promptings of the spirit.

That semester I did a research paper about Homosexuality in Mormon plays for an American Drama Class and read the heartbroken words of families torn apart by the topic. I also read Angels in America and many other plays which showed Mormons and close minded and arrogant. These sources actually had the opposite effect on me. As I read them I contrasted them with the experiences I had with members filled with love and compassion. I realized that the Gay Rights movement had been overly militant and had shown great hatred towards individuals of the LDS faith merely because of their faith. I began to also realize that the legal issued surrounding Gay Marriage are more complicated than supporters make them seem. (I had been under the impression that Gay Marriage in California or elsewhere would have no negative legal consequences what so ever.) I wrote an article for my university newspaper about the passing of a Gay Marriage Ban in Maine in which I began to explore the nuances I now saw on the issue ( I still spoke against the ban at that point) I began to expand my understanding and perspective on the topic greatly due to research and continued prayer.

Yet, even with all of that I was still far away from support of the Church’s stance on Proposition 8. I saw the involvement as a mistake and the Church on the wrong side of history. The true turning point for me as undoubtedly the first time I went to the Manti Temple ( July 3, 2010) and performed sealing ordinances. When I was in the temple on that day, I received a very profound and deep testimony of the importance of family in God’s plan. Whereas my feelings about family before had been tepid, I now was filled with a great fiery testimony. I knew that the Family Proclamation to the World was an inspired doctrine from God and that nothing could ever come close to the sacredness of temple marriage between a husband and a wife. In the temple of the Lord I finally gained the witness I had sought in earnest prayer unto the lord!

Yet, even as I left on my mission I still was not comfortable with this issue. I remember cringing as I watched Boyd K. Packers talk which mentioned homosexuality in the October 2010 conference. Now, coming back from my mission I both support and endorse his every word and the Churches’ stance without equivocation! The funny thing is that nothing in particular on my mission happened to change my views on gay marriage. Actually, in Russia the population is very homophobic and the topic of homosexuality almost never came up in the course of my mission. I think I only had to teach about it 2 or 3 times in total. The first time was rather early in my mission and I remember hesitating before I taught it and saying very explicitly that this was the ‘churches’ position’ on the topic distinguishing between my view and the churches’. Yet, between that time and the next time I mentioned the topic I experienced a remarkable transformation which can only be explained as the result of loosing oneself in the service of the Lord. As my testimony of the brethren and the divine inspiration that leads the church and the mission grew leaps and bounds, so too did my conviction that the Proclamation on the Family was inspired of God and equal to scripture for our day. As I did so, I became more confident in the correctness of the LDS position. I realized that even if the whole world were for it, we MUST stand out against it because our unique view on the importance of family necessitates it.

So what have I learned on my long and windy road towards acceptance of the churches’ position on gay marriage? I learned that if we have doubts and even monumental concerns the solution is not to become less active and certainly not to leave the church in protest or dismay. Instead, the solution is to humble oneself and to not assumed that we are correct. Being teachable is the key. Also, allowing the spirit to teach us through prayer, scripture study, church attendance, faithful temple worship and living a worthy lifestyle/keeping the commandments are the absolute key. If we have a difficult concern it often requires repeated prolonged prayer over time and even then the answers often come only piecemeal. Moreover, loosing oneself in service of our brothers and sisters in the church is the true key to allowing the spirit to transform us. Brothers and sisters, if you are struggling because of this issue or any other concern about the church, take heart and courage! Stay strong, always be open to the spirit, never ever leave the path and I promise you that you will be led by the spirit and that in your own time you will gain the testimony which is precious about all!

Gay Marriage and Good, Better, Best

Gay Marriage and Good, Better, Best

Since I made my recent post on Gay Marriage I have already been criticized for my sense that heterosexual marriage is more ideal than homosexual relationships on two different blogs. I want to write a post elaborating on my feelings on homosexuality. I don’t know that this post is any less deserving of criticism, but it is a candid exploration of my current thoughts and speculations.

If the only thing that will satisfy you is absolute equality not only in the law, but in the realm of spiritual thoughts, then I can not give that to you. The church is clear that marriage between a man and a woman is God’s ideal. Since I went through the temple for the first time last month, this spiritual principle has taken deep root within me. Performing proxy sealings and being able to hear the promised blessings has made it clear to me that this is the ideal sanctioned by the Lord. I don’t see this ideal changing without direct revelation granted to the leadership of the church. If that happens I would certainly be open to changing my spiritual lens on this matter.

This does NOT mean that I view homosexuality as sinful or deprived in the traditional sense of those words. Members of the church that enter into priesthood or temple covenants are held to a much higher standard and for them sexual transgression outside of wedlock to someone of the opposite gender is one of the worst sins possible because it violates covenants entered into in the house of the lord. This is explicitly because we learn in the temple that the law of Chastity is directly linked to the Melchizedick Priesthood. This is a particular covenant that LDS members make which is equally true for homosexual relationships, adultery and any lack of full and total fidelity and dedication.

This all goes back at its core to my definition of a ‘sin.’ A sin for me is anything that holds us back from achieving our absolute ideal state of perfection in the resurrection. Homosexual relationships are good because they can give one many of the blessings of marriage, but they are not the BEST because in some critical eternal ways, in so far as our current understanding reveals to us, they fall short of perfection.

It is also possible that our focus on exaltation as the only ideal is misguided. I don’t know that being a ministering angel would be a bad thing. I have often wondered if the celestial kingdom needs ministering angels. It seems likely that ministering angels can have loving relationships with each other. Perhaps just as Paul suggests that some will be Eunuchs for the Kingdom of God on Earth’s sake, some will be Eunuchs in eternity for the Kingdom of God. There is a lot we do not know and a lot that is not visible to our understanding. To the best of my knowledge, however, there is a theological emphasis on Heterosexual couples joining together and becoming one eternally. My faith necessitates that I view this as ‘BEST.’

Non-members must act upon their personal conscience and if they are believers in the bible then in the text therein. I have found textual arguments that homosexuality as we know it today would not have been understood by Paul fairly reasonable. Moreover, no restoration text explicitly speaks of homosexuality. At the very least, the very chapters in Romans most often cited against homosexuality are more obviously a critique against those that would judge others and yet fall short of their own moral standards. Paul would not recognize committed homosexual relationships as they were out of the scope of his world.  The relationships you enter into are a matter of your own personal conscience and sense of right and wrong. I am not the one to judge you and I in every way respect your decision making.

Moreover, for those that are not under special covenant and that have same gender attractions it may be better for you to enter into a relationship than to remain lonely apart. You are not bound by my standard of a relationship. Ideally, I would hope that you will also appreciate the value of monogamy and strive to enter into longer term and committed relationships. I appreciate your heartfelt desires for the security that comes from civic recognition of your union. You deserve all of the legal protections that society currently accords to heterosexual couples. I’d certainly rather have you adopt a child than a single mother that can hardly afford to support a child, for instance.  My desire is for the title of marriage to only be accorded to what I view as best, but I also realize that this may violate equal protection and that there may be no way to do this without discrimination.

I do think that granting gay marriage continues an already existing change in our societal perception of what a marriage is. I worry that marriage has become all about self gratification rather than a desire to come together to support a family. It saddens me to see the self-centered focus of modern marriage. Gay and Lesbian couples are not responsible for this and denying them benefits will do little to change things. Conservatives have decided to make a stand here in part because they have already lost the battles over things like no-fault divorce that have significantly weakened the institution of marriage. I sympathize with their fear while feeling their chosen battleground is futile and pointless.

I also want to copy and paste my answer from my Mormon.Org profile on Mormons and homosexuality. I was encouraged that this answer was approved:

What is the Church’s attitude on homosexuality? Why is homosexuality and same-sex marriage important to the Mormon Church?

Sexual relations are incredibly sacred and are ordained only within the covenant of marriage between man and woman. As we are baptized we covenant to observe the law of Chastity which requires abstinence before marriage and full fidelity in marriage.

Marriage is one of the building blocks of eternity. We will be with our family and loved ones in the eternity. Temple marriages bind people for time and eternity. Therefore, it is vital for the church to encourage the sanctity of marriage and to act to protect the institution.

No one knows exactly what are the causes of same sex attraction. There is some evidence of a complicated mix of biological, social and environmental factors. However, we do not believe that attractions are what define who we are. Instead, as Christians our goal is to “putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.” Mosiah 3:19. We may always struggle with temptations and desires and those temptations are not in and of themselves sinful. However, through faith we can eventually become purified and sanctified.

Life is full of difficult challenges for all of us, and my heart goes out to those members that are tempted with this particularly challenging temptation. Members that are suffering with these temptations may be unable to marry and may have to abstain from physical pleasure throughout this life. Yet, God promises that those that endure to the end in faith will be rewarded. They are not defective and God loves them as a son or daughter. Do not hesitate to learn the beauty of the restored gospel because of these feelings or temptations Members are asked to show love and compassion and unfortunately we are imperfect in this regard. We must strive to be more Christ like in that regard.

In regard to Gay Marriage, the church has found it important to speak out against the granting of the title of Marriage to Unions between gay couples. Yet, the church is not anti-gay. The Church has spoken out in favor of a non-discrimination ordinance in Salt Lake City. Members of the church are divided on the issue of Civil Unions though many members in Good Standing including Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid are ardent supporters. It is my belief that Gay Couples should have all of the same rights as straight couples, but that the title of marriage is something sacred that should be guarded and protected.

New Mormon.Org

New Mormon.Org

I was excited about the New Mormon.Org that recently launched. However, the actual site far exceeds any of my expectations. The member profiles are a wonderful cross section of church membership. One can search by age, ethnicity, continent and previous religious affiliation which is a great feature. However, the standout of the site are the videos that were produced for some of the profiles. I am amazed with the diversity of these profiles. Some feature ‘celebrities’ such as Alex Boye while others feature the conversion stories of average members. The breadth of diversity reflected here really shows a church trying to move away from uniformity and towards reflecting the vibrant experiences of its members. Here is a brief description of those featured in videos with links to their sites or the profile if no site could be found.

Ryan Wilcox- Pediatrician working on a church humanitarian mission

Alex Boye-  Well known Singer and Songwriter

Rochelle Tallmadge- Stay at home mother of four. Her two boys have disabilities.

Valentin Marcero- Mexican Immigrant and Convert to the church. Jailed twice while growing up. Wants to serve a mission

Ron Dittemore- Flight Director for NASA Mission Control

Helen Newton- A Female African American Ophthamologist and mother

Jeff Decker- Sculptor for Harley Davidson and motorcycle racer

Chris Carlson- Works at the Library of Congress and is a cyclist

Josh Maready- Photographer and Professional skateboarder

Rose Yvette-  Female Filipina Convert that works as a professional artist from home

Cassandra Barney- Female Stay At Home Professiona Artist

Joy Monaha- World Champion Female Surfer

Jane Clayson Johnson- Female professional Emmy Winning journalist

Vance Taylor- Handicapped Homeland Security Consultant

Emily and Aaron Sherinian- Emily for a global public health non-profit and Aaron works for UN Foundation

Lost, Latter Day Saints and Eternal Families

Lost, Latter Day Saints and Eternal Families

I am an avid Lost fan and watched the series finale with great anticipation. I feel somewhat cheated by the ending. In a way, I think that the creators did a great job of tying together thematically the sixth season. However, most of the answers we received were to questions that were raised only in the past 20 episodes or so. Many of the shows unknowns remain unknown. The finale was driven by tear jerking character moments but lacked the same spark of genius contained in previous season endings.

Yet, I found the last twenty minutes of the show fascinating for its significant spiritual connection to our Latter Day Saint conception of the afterlife. Spoilers will follow—You have been warned:

In the end, the flash ‘sideways’ universe actually represented a purgatory or waiting room for the losties. Each of the characters remained stuck in this place. Many of the characters were in a very comfortable place, better of than in their pre-island life, but blind to their ultimate state of being. Desmond was an ultimately enlightened individual that spread the knowledge that something was amiss and not quite right in this parallel place.

I often wonder if this is what the spirit prison is like for those inside of it. If the spirit prison is an awful place, then everyone would convert in mass and there would be no need for the continued missionary efforts. Instead, it seems to me that the spiritual world must be a sort of matrix like deception in which individuals are given assurances of their salvation and the comfortable position of their eternal rest. Desmond had to continually beat, often literally, the truth into the heart’s of those he encountered.

I am reminded of the 138 section of the Doctrine and Covenants:

57 I beheld that the faithful ^aelders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the ^bpreaching of the ^cgospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the ^dspirits of the dead.

The Lost version of purgatory is also one in which redemption is meaningfully possible. Thus, Ben is able to actually be a mentor and guide to Alex in a way that he could not in the ‘real’ world. Sayid likewise is able to find a measure of redemption even as his soul continues to darken. Might the spirit prison likewise be a place where souls can work out their salvation and continue to conquer their flaws? Yet, in the end of the episodes, some people also do not make it into the redemptive light. Despite his efforts of redemption, Ben Linus comes up to the church but does not enter into it. I thought about the connections to our concept of kingdoms of glory. Just as we have a concept of eternal progression, however, Ben suggests that he is not ready ‘yet’ implying that he may one day yet join the eternal reunion. He is able to gain some degree of forgiveness but has not yet found his full redemption.

In the 76^th Chapter of the Doctrine and Covenants we read about the telestial kingdom.

85 These are they who shall not be redeemed from the ^adevil until the ^blast resurrection, until the Lord, even Christ the ^cLamb, shall have finished his work.

86 These are they who receive not of his fulness in the eternal world, but of the Holy Spirit through the ministration of the terrestrial;

The Lost version of eternity also brings out several nagging questions I’ve had about the LDS concept of heaven.

Firstly, in the purgatorial sideways world, several characters are pregnant. These include Jin and Sun as well as Claire. These are characters that in the Island World never really were able to interact with their children. Thus, in the final episode we see an ultra sound of Jin and Sun’s child as well as Claire giving birth. Yet, in the final moments of the episode we discover that several of the castaways including Claire actually escape the Island and likely return to the real world. There, they live out their lives only later joining the deceased on the Island. Thus, they were likely to have spent time with their real and growing children. It is unlikely that their children died immediately or without being able to grow. Yet, in this paradisiacal world they are again infants.

The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame. (Alma 40:23)

I was reminded of this beautiful post in The Millennial Star on Stillborn babies

What about the memories of Ji Yeon as he grow from infancy to maturity. What about his friends and loved one? Are these less important than the longing of a mother to raise her child? Lost places motherhood on an elevated plateau as we often do in the church. Kate is taken off the list of Candidates because she is a mother to Aaaron, for instance. Yet, it seems that our theology and the show both may forget that these babies are not just vessels for their mothers but unique individuals in and of themselves.

Eternal Families:

A resurrected Christian Shepard tells Jack that their spirits were not ready to move on without one another. Thus, the Lost heaven is like the LDS heaven in that it is a place of communal salvation. Individuals are not awakened in isolation. Throughout the episode and season, characters receive knowledge and light because of the actions of others.

Yet, for me, this heaven was notable for those that were absent. Several characters such as Michael and Walt did not arrive at the heavenly gates. Moreover, many characters of incredible importance in the series simply were not mentioned. Penny is able to be there even though she had never spent time on the Island, but what about Eloise Hawking, Charles Widmore or Jacob for that matter. What about past loves such as Nadia or Helen? How could these individuals be ‘saved’ without them.

This relates to a question I’ve always had about the plan of salvation and the focus on families. Certainly, our family members are central to our lives, but heaven would not be heaven for me without all of my friends and even without the people that daily make me smile.

Robert Hales wrote in a talk on The Eternal Family

“It is not enough just to save ourselves. It is equally important that parents, brothers, and sisters are saved in our families. If we return home alone to our Heavenly Father, we will be asked, “Where is the rest of the family?” This is why we teach that families are forever. The eternal nature of an individual becomes the eternal nature of the family.”

Yet, Lost suggests that family is not just those we are born to and from whom we can trace or genealogy, but also those that we love and that make us who we are.

All of the research on sealings in the Early Church suggest to me that we’ve lost something of this divine concept in our focus on the nuclear family.

Brigham Young, in a talk given February 16th 1868, proclaimed, “The ordinance of sealing must be performed here man to man, and woman to man, and children to parents, etc., until the chain of generation is made perfect in the sealing ordinances back to father Adam … until the earth is sanctified and prepared for the residence of God and angels.” (Journal of Discourses, Vol.12, p.165).

We will each of us be linked back in a chain to each other going back to our initial parents Adam and Eve. We are all literally brothers and an extended family  and sons and daughters of a father in heaven. The Lost concept of heaven is both more limiting than the glory promised by our theology, and more expansive than our unfortunately limited focus on the isolated small family.

I love that the ending of one of my favorite shows can make me reflect on our concept of heaven and see its strength and also some of its flaws.

Moses and the lives of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young

Moses and the lives of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young

I recently bought Moses: A Life; By  Jonathan Kirsch on an impulse purchase at a local used book store. I found some of the books assumptions to be quite frustrating although it was a very interesting read. The book presented theories by biblical scholarship that seemed hung on the flimsiest sort of evidence possible. For instance, the absence of a mention of Moses in the Song of Miriam is taken as evidence that perhaps Miriam and Aaron were true life ancient figures and that Moses was invented. If this is what biblical scholarship rests upon, then it is clear that we are dealing with little more than supposition and hypothesis. It is hard to take this kind of theorizing seriously. The book is also filled to the brim with the authors own grating sermonizing. It’s a shame, because the book is also a well-researched compilation of secular and religious secondary sources on the life of Moses and otherwise quite interesting.

Yet, one thing struck out to me as especially interesting. Almost every criticism that scholars have leveled against Moses reminded me almost directly of criticism leveled at Joseph Smith or Brigham Young,

“Moses is shown to act in timid and even cowardly ways, throw temper tantrums, dabble in magic, carry out purges and inquisitions and conduct wars of extermination, and talk back to God” (Moses: A Life p.2).”

For instance, one of the most striking things that scholars have surmised about the life of Moses ( Once they get through denying his existence) is that he likely was trained in the magic of the Midianites before his theophonic encounter with God. Moses continues to use magical objects such as his staff or the healing snake made out of bronze even as he takes on the mantle of liberator and prophet. It struck me how similar this was to the use of seer stones by Joseph Smith and the continued criticism of this ‘pagan’ element. It seems obvious that God uses our background and our strengths to lead us to him. Moses understood and accessed the power of God through the lens of the tradition that he knew best.

Likewise, I began to think about Brigham Young’s leadership style as I read chapters relating to Moses and his leadership in the desert. Like Brigham, Moses is accused of being a ruthless and cruel dictator. Likewise, Moses is accused of unjustly ordering the Massacure of innocent women and children. Moses is absolutely fierce in putting down rivals to power and claims the authority of God to punish dissent. Kirsch views these acts as barbaric and terrifying. Yet,  as Latter Day Saints I think that the similarities between Prophets of God is what is perhaps most striking. Moses and Brigham both dealt with constant apostasy and with leading a rebellious people through the wilderness. They both were instrumental in the survival of a people. In that sense, Brigham Young truly earns his mantle as the American Moses.

You Can’t Be Neutral On a Moving Train-Dawkins and the Labeling of Children

Dawkins, Humanism and the Labeling of Children

The British Humanist Association is following up its highly visible “Atheist Bus Campaign” with a new Atheist Billboard Campaignthat I think is quite fascinating.

The focus of this campaign is to point out that children do not inherently belong to a specific denomination. The page I link to above has an extensive quote from Dawkins as he talks about shuddering when he hears mention of a “Jewish child” or a “Catholic Child.”

To one degree I actually find myself nodding my head in agreement. After all, our church is very emphatic in its belief that infants do not need baptism and are pure in the eyes of God. Moroni 8 is especially strong in this regard.

14 Behold I say unto you, that he that supposeth that little children need baptism is in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; for he hath neither faith, hope, nor charity; wherefore, should he be cut off while in the thought, he must go down to hell.
15 For awful is the wickedness to suppose that God saveth one child because of baptism, and the other must perish because he hath no baptism.
16 Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having authority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.
17 And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation.

Thus, we hold that the idea that Children need repentance is an abomination. All children are alike and loved by God with a perfect love. They are all saved. In this regard the saints and Dawkins are in agreement.

Yet, the goal of such a humanist campaign is not merely to criticize labels. Its agenda is broader arguing that parents should not raise their children in one particular faith or another. Latter Day Saints, with out strong focus on primary education as well as church centered activities such as scouting, would passionately disagree in this regard.

The humanist fallacy here is the notion that a child can be raised in a ‘neutral’ household and then allowed to make an unbiased choice. The logic suggests that a child exposed to religion will be biased while one in a secular environment will be very to make a truly educated decision.

Indeed, we have had wise prophetic counsel speaking out against this fallacy

It is clear that faith is something that must be cultivated from childhood. Marion G. Romney spoke beautifully about the impact of scripture reading on a family

“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1980, 88, 90; or Ensign, May 1980, 66–67 ).

Elder Bednar recently described this process as one of small brushstrokes on a canvas.

Elder John C. Carmack of the Seventy  points out that we do not live in a world where choices are consequence free and can be made in a vacuum. Children face temptation and need proper gospel teachings to endure.

“This is not a neutral world. Good and evil bombard us and our children. Teaching our children correct principles allows them to make informed choices. But when children make choices contrary to gospel teachings, they always suffer the consequences, some of which are serious.”

This is perhaps the most important fallacy in the humanist argument. The world is not a neutral place but one where Satan stands ready to tempt us. Famed historian Howard Zinn titled a film ‘You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving train’ and I think this certainly applies to child rearing.

All that is virtuous and of good report- R Rated Movies?

All that is virtuous and of good report- R Rated Movies?

As a new convert, one of the things that I’ve struggled with as I’ve gained a stronger presence of the Holy Ghost is figuring out exactly what media content is or is not spiritually conducive. Some decisions are very clear cut; for instance, a couple of months ago I went through the very cathartic process of deleting hundreds of satanic death metal songs that I used to adore. On the other hand, especially with movies, I have found some decisions very difficult. As with music, sometimes the decision is very simple; Hostel is not likely to be a spiritually enlightening experience. Yet, for many of the most powerful, poignant and well-designed films a correct path is much less clear.  There is prophetic advice to not watch R rated movies, but I have also found so many good, and meaningful films with this rating.  Ultimately, I have to say that I am conflicted and unable to figure out what is right for me.

Today I went and I saw Up In the Air which perfectly exemplifies my dilemma. On the one hand, profanity was pretty common and sexual humor and innuendo rampant. Yet, the film also had a profound and timely message about the value of human connections and family in particular. The acting and dialogue was sharp and left a profound impact. It was clearly a well-done film, but more importantly it was also a film with an ultimately positive value filled spirit.  Likewise, a few weeks back I saw the movie Precious that was also R rated and also an absolutely stunning affirmation of life. I left that movie feeling more sure of my conviction that we are all sons and daughters of our heavenly father. Up In The Air leaves me feeling confident in my conviction that is ultimately our relationships rather than our assets that make our life meaningful. I recently wrote two posts about the lessons I learned from watching Schindler’s List.  These are worthy lessons and I worry about missing out on them if I limit my viewing experiences too selectively.

I realized while watching this film that perhaps it is this spirit that is the most important facet of a film. Some films encourage a spirit of materialism, nihilism and moral relativism while others are values filled and wholesome. This spirit is related to but not directly correlated with the content. A film that revels in violence and sex will not likely have a good spirit, but one that does not will not necessarily either. Some movies can be technically proficient but negative in values. For me, a good example of this was last years No Country For Old Men. This film was critically acclaimed and technically well done. Yet, the overall philosophy was rooted in a blind chaotic nihilism that was vapid in my eyes.

The problem is knowing what kind of ‘spirit’ a film will have. The other question is whether some of the more negative imagery or dialogue one hears has a worse impact than any positive one a film can have. Does hearing profanity negate the good of a film—unlikely. What about glorification of promiscuous sex—much likely so. The problem with not setting hard and fast guidelines such as no R rated movies is that I have to make difficult decisions and may end up seeing movies that are spiritually bad for me.

Would I just be better off with a hard and fast rule against R rated films? Readers, what have you done for yourself or for your families? Your advice would be very helpful.

Four Years

Four Years

Yesterday ( December 28^th, 2009) was the four year anniversary of my mother’s passing. Today, my mind is more fully turned towards her. I am look at old pictures and filled with nostalgia. Sometimes its hard to believe that its only been four years. it feels like an eternity. In other moments, I feel like no time has passed at all. The feeling of loss never leaves even as life moves on.

Yet, today I am also reveling in the contrast from years past. When I had lost my faith in God as visit to her grave site and the thoughts about her filled me mostly with sorrow. I could only dwell on the missed opportunities and feel pain because I would never see her again. She was gone and only memories could remain. Invariably memory is a process whereby painful and lingering emotions crowd out and suffocate joy and love. Thus, I could not see beyond the last years of sickness and remember the upbeat days.

Since I have come to knowledge of the fullness of the Plan of Salvation, this has changed significantly. I was able a few months ago to be in attendance as a good friend was baptized and confirmed in the name of my mother. I felt the sprit strongly attest to the fact that the work was accepted. I know that I will have the opportunity to hold her again in the highest kingdom of God. How glorious to know that we are destined to spend eternity together.

Even though her memory has been used as a weapon against me so often in the past year, I am today more able to remember all of the incredible moments we had together. I am able to look at pictures of past trips and recall the joy rather than morn the loss. Left and right, I was told that my mother must be ashamed of me for my conversion, but I am able to fully feel the glowing pride. Because I know that she has been cleansed from any of the pain she might have felt. I am able to forgive myself for my failures at the time. I was young and childish and unable to fully handle her suffering in a mature fashion. I have grown immensely since and know that this matters immensely in the eternal scheme of things…

I am so thankful for a God that grants us the opportunity to share eternity and to be redeemed of our mistakes.

Law School or a Mission?- Advice Needed

Law School or a Mission?- Advice Needed

Last night, I got my first acceptance letter from one of my major law school choices. It was a thrill to get an acceptance from Georgetown Law. I sent applications to 17 schools and will be hearing back from the rest over the next few weeks. With my pretty good LSAT score ( 173), solid GPA and good mix of extracurricular leadership positions, I am in a competitive position for all of the schools I applied to. The standard path for me would be to begin law school in the fall of 2010. I would likely have to fund school through a mix of scholarships, help from my father and loans.

I am really torn about whether or not this is the right direction for me. I really feel compelled to serve a full-time mission for the LDS church and know this would also be my only good chance to do so. I am already 22 (just turned) and would be unlikely to go and serve a mission after finishing law school considering that I would then be typically looking to be married and looking for a full time job. This seems like the only time in my life where serving a mission could be possible. It is likely that several of my top school choices would allow me to defer for two years in order to serve a mission

As anyone that has read my blog would know, I am a recent convert to the church having been baptized six months ago. I wish I could leave right now for a mission, because that would make the timing significantly easier. Instead, I have to wait until the summer in order to be able to do that. Even though I want to serve, there are several factors against it. My father would be absolutely aghast at the idea of my serving. Nothing would upset him more than having me spend my time doing proselytizing work. As a culturally Jewish individual, he views the idea of missionary work to be among the worst actions humanly possible. My father has been gradually accepting my membership in the church and appreciating how important it is to me. As such, I am worried that serving would turn him away from it even further. On a more selfish reason I am also fairly sure that serving would mean that he would no longer be willing to pay for any part of my education which would be a significant burden. I am also worried about his health and real possibility that he might get sick or worse while I am serving. Likewise, I dealing with all of the usual concerns of a potential missionary compounded by the fact that I’ve not seen most of my relatives for over two years since I was last in Israel and am not pleased about not seeing them for another two.

I wanted to write this post in part because I really want to hear the advice of any readers. Did any of you have to make a similar choice? How did your family react? What do you think? I have a lot to think and pray about over the next several months. Your feedback and commons could be very helpful in my decision.

Schooling my Feelings

One Conference talk that I’ve really been thinking about lately is President Thomas S. Monson’s Priesthood Session Address entitled School Thy Feelings, O My Brother about the terrible dangers of anger.

President Monson is very emphatic in stating that is “not possible to feel the spirit of our Heavenly father when we are angry.” More strikingly, president monsoon quotes 3 Nephi, which describes the spirit of contention as coming from the devil.

I have struggled my whole life with a short temper and a tendency to become angry and frustrated. Part of this stems from a self-centered me centered attitude that coming to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ has really helped me to control.

Growing up my father and I would fight a lot. Our arguments often got so heated that my mother worried that when she passed away we would not be able to get along and would figuratively or literally murder each other.

I have learned the hard way that “Anger, Satan’s tool, is destructive in so many ways.” Several years ago I allowed selfishness and jealousness to severely harm a relationship between my father and a then girlfriend. I don’t think I was mature enough at that point fully appreciate how important the relationship was for him or to accept that he could have feelings for someone other than my mother ( It was about a year after my mother’s death). The three of us argued and clashed so much that she ultimately left.

President Monson’s words were certainly true in this case.

“My brethren, we are all susceptible to those feelings which, if left unchecked, can lead to anger. We experience displeasure or irritation or antagonism, and if we so choose, we lose our temper and become angry with others. Ironically, those others are often members of our own families—the people we really love the most.”

I am thinking about this a lot because I am now in Florida visiting my father and a new girlfriend has just arrived to stay. I just met her briefly for the first time as I write this post. I hope to be able to magnify my priesthood and be an example of a true disciple of God. This week did not get off to the greatest start as my father and I had a pretty big fight about travel plans and the fact that I’d not been to Israel to see my family in two and a half years. I regressed to old selfish habits where I put myself and my own desires ahead of others needs, and got angry when others did not live up to my own expectations.

I pray for the strength to overcome my tendency to anger. I need to more fully appreciate and remember the example of the savior. As he stood in front of Pilate and faced an angry mob screaming for blood he did not cry out in anger or rage. Instead, he urged calm as Peter tried to raise sword against the roman soldiers, and asked his father in heaven to forgive his captives. May I be more fully able on this day to take upon myself the Savior’s admonition “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”  I need to more fully live up to my desire to be a Christian by being slow to anger and full of love.