Parting is such sorrow
Parting truly is somewhat of a sweet sorrow. I know that line is quite trite and overused, but it is also brilliant and utterly prescient. Saying goodbye to a lifestyle and culture one has enjoyed for over a month is a difficult transition. It is a strange process. It has a strong sense of absolute finality and yet the hope of potential return and perpetuation.I will miss quite a few things about the last month. Certainly my internship will not be one of them. I feel so unfulfilled by our near complete lack of activity. Every worthwhile event had us as observers rather than involved or coordinating.
On the last day our supervisor Yaela finally came back to the office after two weeks of not really being there, and immediately starting being annoyed at George who had had to leave early to catch the double cabs to and from Lakiya to bring his stuff. This was incredibly frustrating for me to see, because I felt that a supervisor who had hardly been around had lost her right to lecture and complain. She went with me to get some food and we talked about my paper and focus of research and I of course realized she would have had so much more to contribute and add to my knowledge if she had been around.
Yaela is an incredibly brilliant academic who is caught up will a million various things to do and just has no time. In an organization where she is the only truly fluent English speaker, this is problematic for American interns to say the least. She then sat us down and told us that our frustration is normal and we should realize is part of the NGO process. This truly put a lot of things in perspective for me. However, I still remained a bit frustrated. It is clear the NGO’s fighting for an unpopular and under recognized cause will have a lot of hurdles and hardships. They will face downtimes and moments of disorder and disarray. It seems particularly striking to me, however, that this organization is so fundamentally disorganized.
There seem to be systemic flaws stemming from the tension between elected and paid officials and a desire for glory. The RCUV seems an organization overly dependant on the personality of the leader and yet not grassroots in any basic way. The organization clearly suffers from internal tensions that may stop it from achieving all that it can. There is also a seeming disregard for clear order, delineated instructions and a chain of command which is so prevalent in American organizations.
Saying goodbye to my family was ultimately a much more difficult process. We exchanged gifts in a semi solemn moment. I bought them a Thinking Man stature for the house and a glass chess set, and they gave me robes for my father and myself and one for my girlfriend Sigourney as well as a hair covering for her. It will be interesting to see their reactions to these bits of tradition in modern day life. Rasim finally opened up his cell phone shop, which is also thoroughly exciting. They hopefully will be able to make money and gain business experience through this endeavor. It was nice to see more commercial enterprises open up in Lakiya even if they are not legal. Now, one can have a Bedouin Pizza and buy a cell phone to call home and tell them about it all within the same part of the neighborhood. Hopefully, the villages will continue to grow and to expand with or without the government’s aid. Human enterprise can hardly be suppressed.
I will miss many things. I will miss tea and what drinking tea represents. I will miss how meals are a unifying moment of family interaction. I will miss the seeming endless amounts of cousins, uncles and other relatives to meet and greet. Indeed, going back to my Israeli family or back home already feels like a lonely proposition. I will miss sitting on the floor and relaxing; leaning on pillows and thin ground mattresses is far less of a commitment than lying down on a bed, and therefore more accessible in the middle of the day. The feeling of relaxation even when there is much work to be done and the continual hustle and bustle of day to day life is all around is truly inspiring and worthwhile. Above all, I will miss the individuals. It is amazing how welcoming and warm they all were. How within the short time span we managed to become acquainted and begin to discuss matters of profound human and political importance. I feel I will be forever enriched by their knowledge and perspective.
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